Differences in sex drive naturally exist within a relationship.
However, when one partner experiences a sudden plummet in desire, it can easily cause conflicts.
Knowing how to handle the unique ebb and flow of your sex drive is critical in preventing relationship strain. Many people assume that the problem is the actual sex drive nosedive itself. And it can be part of the problem, but another culprit is how you approach the situation in the first place.
Consider these tips for preventing strain in your relationship, even when your sex drive has taken a serious nosedive.
Be Open with Your Partner
Be straightforward with your partner. Tell them that your natural sex drive has decreased. If you’re not sure the reason for the plummet, simply confide that you haven’t figure out the cause, but your feelings for them haven’t changed.
Often, honest communication makes it easier for your partner to accept your decreased sex drive. At least, it’s better to deal with your direct approach than feel rejected when you decline their sexual advances hoping they get the point.
Opening up also helps your partner to support you better. If their sex drive is higher than yours, they’ll be thrilled to find a solution to the dry spell. Though “fixing” you won’t be on the agenda. Rather, open communication fosters a “we’re in this together” approach.
Reassure Your Partner
Along with practicing open communication, reassure your partner of your feelings for them. After all, your sex drive can take a nosedive for many reasons. The aforementioned ebb and flow of desire depend largely on what’s happening in your life. Stress, job, diet, etc. all impact your sex drive.
But, it may not feel that way to your partner. Many times, partners feel as though they’re the one to blame for the sexual inactivity.
Although a sex drive nosedive is more common in a long term relationship, that’s not to say you’re interested in intimacy with your partner. It’s simply that the natural “oomph” for sex isn’t there.
Talk Frankly about Preferences
When your sex drive decreases, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re never in the mood. For instance, you may feel as though you’re satisfied with a smaller quantity of sexual intercourse than your partner. But, your partner might not be on the same page.
To keep the strain of having a different sex drive than your partner, talk about what actually turns you on. Further still, discuss the things you enjoy during sex or leading up to it.
Perhaps your partner is willing to focus more on the things that actually make sex memorable. This way, not only with the experience be more satisfying but more inviting, as well.
Remember that a decrease in sex drive happens for many reasons. Boredom, stress at work, added responsibilities at home, hormonal imbalances, body image issues, etc. are all common causes for a decreased libido. When you recognize any little sexual spark, go with it and share it with your partner.
Offer an Alternative
While it’s perfectly acceptable to decline sexual intimacy, there’s nothing wrong with finding another way to pleasure your partner. They might not like the idea at first but will likely warm up to it. Assure them that it’s a win/win for both of you.
Explain too, that you really want to pleasure your partner, but simply aren’t up for intercourse. Therefore, finding another way to make you both happy is a viable option to prevent relationship strain. Your partner then feels good in multiple ways and you demonstrate that their pleasure is still important to you.
If you find your struggle with a decreased sex drive persists, please contact me. I can help you navigate sensitive areas in your relationship to keep your intimate and emotional connections strong.